Worse than a Curse

Worse than a Curse

 

Once upon a time, the Elves and the Dwarves waged magical battle upon each other. The war ended when the combatants branded the land with this deadly curse: that anyone who dwells there 200 years shall die in agony. The immortal Elves and Dwarves dared not stay on the cursed land, so they all fled.

But mortal Men had no fear of the curse, for they died before 200 years anyhow. The Men stayed on the land, and thrived even better than before the war, due to the absence of Elves and Dwarves.

To the Men, Elves and Dwarves were worse than a curse.

 

Moral: You might not be missed.

 

Comment: I write this with the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone in mind. It is now too radioactive for human habitation, but it’s home to a thriving wildlife population. They’re radioactive but they’re free from humankind. To them we’re worse than radiation.

      

 

 

The Broken Battlefield

The Broken Battlefield

 

Once upon a time, there was an ancient battlefield, on which many a war had been won or lost. The generals knew it well. But then one day the earth shook. The quake broke open a wide fissure all the way down the middle of the battlefield.

          From then on, whenever the generals sent their armies there, their men and horses would fall into the fissure, and battle was impossible. The generals would then withdraw; but they always returned, to find the fissure still there.

         

          Moral:

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results.

 

Comment:

Jonathan Schell compared the condition of war in the nuclear age to this.

 

         

 

 

Saga Of The Spook Duke

          Saga Of The Spook Duke

          Outline of a fantasy historical play in 3 acts

 

 

          Act One. Enter Edward de Vere, 17^th Earl of Oxford. He is cultured, well-travelled, well-spoken and imaginative. His Queen summons him to her secret service. Intrigue follows; espionage, secrets, lies, exposures, reversals, betrayals, swordfights and the knife in the back. In the end Elizabeth the First deprives him of title, lands, name, identity… but not life. He becomes a genuine ‘spook’; not merely a spy, but truly a restless spirit, neither alive nor dead. And what made the Virgin Queen grant so grim a reward, and the Earl accept it? I propose illicit love. His clever tongue got him into trouble, and then halfway out.

          Act Two. The Spook Duke (yes, he’s an Earl, but Spook Duke rhymes) takes to dreaming, having nought else to while away the tedious days and year of his half-life. He dreams of the life he used to have; and what a tale he tells! But he cannot speak in forthright journalistic prose, for the ever-watchful Queen would punish indiscretion with true death. Instead he retreats to poetic drama. And even so, what use unpublished playwrighting? Enter Wm. Shakespeare, impresario, manager of the Globe Theater. He offers a deal; “I provide actors, sets, costumes, audience and my signature; you, O Spook Duke, provide the one thing I lack; Genius.” And why does the forlorn Spook Duke accept the humble role of ghostwriter? What but illicit love? The genius is bisexual and grateful, the impresario opportunistic; such liasons are not unknown in the theater world.

          Act Three. Time passes, as does life. Eventually the Bard dies, both his body (Wm. Shakespeare) and his soul (the Spook Duke). The Bard is laid to rest, a tombstone erected at the gravesite; and on the headstone are the words, “curs’d be he who moves these bones.” Does the grave have something to hide? Could it be that the coffin holds not one skeleton, but two? But who would dare defy the Bard’s curse, just to check a literary theory?

          The curse is on “he who moves these bones.”  I propose this ending, fit for a Queen; the gravediggers and forensic scientists who unearth the coffin are women!