Time Loop, an Underfable

          Time Loop

          Once upon a time a Time Traveler found himself in line behind his earlier self at the teller machine. At first he didn’t recognize himself from behind. When he did, he thought time loop! He tried to escape but he couldn’t move his legs. Oh well, he thought, I knew this was coming, let’s get it over with.

          His earlier self said, “I’ll be just a minute.”

          He blurted, “I knew you’d say that.”

          His earlier self turned around and said “Oh! It’s you! I mean me!”

          He thought, Yes I’m you hey how are you I mean me just hurry up please can you tell me any just hurry up time loops hurt oh I’m sorry I’ll I’ll be quick. He briefly considered rebelling but instead he said, “Yes I’m you.”

His earlier self said, “Hey how are you! - I mean me!”

He thought that’s what my voice sounds like? But he said, “Just hurry up.”

“Please can you tell me any-”

“- just hurry up,” he said, sweating. “Time loops hurt.”

“Oh I’m sorry! I’ll, I’ll be quick.” His earlier self turned back to the teller machine and continued his business. To his earlier self this took just a minute; but to his later self it took several eternities.

His earlier self concluded his business. He turned around, but at a warning look from his later self said not another word, and left.

His later self stumbled forward, leaned his head against the wall, gasped and dripped sweat, the illusion of free will restored.

Moral: Marionettes hate to see their strings.